I recently joined a small group. I type type that and realize that "recently" was actually in January, but since we only meet every other week, it feels like only a month or so has gone by.
It has been a very long time since I've been in a small group--and part of why I have resisted joining is because my last group was so amazing. I miss the support and encouragement. I miss the fun we had and how we bonded. So I was a bit leery of another group. But I also knew I needed to be in a group. Well, there aren't many groups in our church as of late that a single girl in her late 20's could join, save one. So I joined it.
Our leader is a pastor's daughter (our former pastor's daughter, to be exact) and I've known her for a while. I like her and get along fine with her. There are 4 other ladies. Out of the six of us, two are married, one is divorced and has a child, three are single. I find it a bit difficult to relate sometimes, but I get along well with one of the other single gals and I thought I should stick it out.
I always know if it is a week to meet because starting on Monday, I start feeling a little prick. I'm wondering how I can get out of going to group on Wednesday. By Tuesday, the prick is growing to a poke. I look for excuses. When the day arrives, prick-turned-poke explodes into a punch. I start making deals with myself.
The last two times we met, I had to FORCE myself to show up--last week I only got myself to the church so I could pick up my paycheck. So I asked myself, "why are you fighting so hard?" The answer came as I drove home. The enemy doesn't want me in a small group! Yeah, I should have known that from the get-go, but I sorta forgot.
So I have a new resolve and I'm putting it out there for you all to hold me to. I'm going to go to small group every week. Small group is a priority for me and I will not miss it. I will guard that time and cover it in prayer. If there is one thing I've learned in this walk so far it is this: if the enemy doesn't want it for me, I probably should be going in that direction!